Those "National Lampoon Dorm Daze 2" dudes--co-directors David and Scott Hillenbrand--are at it again with this shallow, super-sucky supernatural spoof of bloodsucker sagas called "Transylmania" based on an abysmal script by Patrick Casey and Worm Miller. Unless you have been sniffing glue or inhaling lead-based paint, you may find it challenging to laugh at most of their ridiculous routines. Everything here qualifies as lowest common denominator humor with loads of bouncing breasts and butts to ogle in what amounts to high school skits on a big budget. Yes, you guessed it the regurgitated gags take swipes at women, repetitive puking, drugs, homosexuals, transsexuals, masturbation, bodily fluids, sheep testicles and severed heads. One really bottom of the barrel scraper gag includes a prank about Siegfried, Roy and a tiger puppet.
Basically, ten concupiscent American college students take the ultimate road trip by plane and train to spend a semester abroad at Razvan University in the heart of vampire country in Romania. The best--if best is an appropriate adjective here--gag is a homage to the Mel Brooks' classic Young Frankenstein". On the way to Castle Razvan, the kids ride in a horse-drawn cart. Every time that anybody mentions the word Razvan, the horses fart, and Razvan is mentioned more than enough times for the horses to fart more than enough times. Of course, what comedy would be a comedy were it not for mistaken identities? Our loopy protagonist Rusty (Oren Skoog) has been carrying on an Internet romance with Razvan honey Draguta Floca (Irena H. Hoffman) and sees this as the perfect excuse to make it with her in person. Later, he discovers to his chagrin that Draguta has a hump on her back that he cannot see while on-line with her. Cue the bad jokes: his pals accuse him of wanting to 'hump her.' One slightly amusing gag occurs when Rusty moons Draguta on his web-cam and then gives her a glimpse of his manhood. Simultaneously, when he regales her with his member, two people surprise him and walk into his dorm room. The anxious Rusty slams his laptop shut on his penis.
Accompanying Rusty to Romania are a couple of pot-smoking pals, Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul H. Kim,) and they endure incredible agony greasing up their rectums to stash bags of marijuana and bongs so they smuggle them past customs. Two girls, party babe Danni (Nicole Garza) and her square twin sister Lia (Natalie Garza) as well as another couple Newmar (Tony Denman) and Lynne (Jennifier Lyons), join them Rusty, Pete, and Wang. Meanwhile, an ultra-sexy vampire huntress Teodora van Sloan (Musetta Vander) and a demented Frankenstein-style doctor Dean Floca (the dwarfish David Steinberg) are two of the more prominent members of the faculty, and they are both loony tunes.
Naturally, no sooner does Rusty arrive than we learn that a vampire-on-the-loose, Count Rabu (Oren Skoog), is a dead ringer for him. Sure, if you can rip off "Young Frankenstein," then you can rip-off the Marx Brothers, so Rusty and Rabu do the famous mirror gag from "Duck Soup" before Rabu realizes that there is not only no mirror but also he would not be able to see himself if there was one! Of course, the black Spandex-clad Teodora wants to nail the Count to death with her cross-bow. The main plot has something to do with Count Rabu and three fangster femmes who are trying to resurrect his former lover whose soul has long been trapped in a music box. It seems that Teodora's ancestor was responsible for this turn of events. Poor Lynne has the misfortune to open the music box and have the spirit of the dead vampire enter her body. Another faintly amusing routine has Wang cavorting around with the severed head of a beauty queen and masquerading as the rest of her body. It seems the Dean Floca carved her up so he could transplant a smooth, shapely back on his deformed daughter. In other words, Cliff balances his head in front of his face and wears a cloak around the rest of his body. Things get complicated when his pal tries to feel her up and Cliff loses her head and it lands in a waste basket.
Truly, this tasteless, brainless comedy deserved its R-rating.
Comedy / Horror
Comedy / Horror
Moronic American student Rusty arranges a student exchange program for his closest friends and him to study in Romania for six months and meet his Internet girlfriend Draguta. He travels with potheads Pete and Wang, Pete's girlfriend Lia and her twin sister Danni, the naive and romantic Newmar and his dippy girlfriend Lynne, the nerd Brady and his sexually confused roommate Mike, and crook Cliff. His friends actually intend to party. While traveling by train to Razvan they learn that five hundred years ago the vampire Radu lost his beloved Stephania, whose spirit was trapped in a music box. Ever since, Radu has kept Stephania's body while seeking the music box to bring her back. One of Radu's minions has recently retrieved the music box but, mortally wounded by the vampire slayer Teodora Van Sloan, drops the object in a gypsy's basket. Newmar unwittingly buys the music box and gives it to Lynne, who opens it and is possessed by Stephania. When all arrive at the university, they are ...
Uploaded By: FREEMAN
May 23, 2021 at 05:19 AM