Transylmania

2009

Comedy / Horror

3
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 21%
IMDb Rating 3.8 10 2573

Synopsis


Uploaded By: FREEMAN
May 23, 2021 at 05:19 AM

Cast

Musetta Vander as Teodora Van Sloan
Annette Charles as Administrator
Tony Denman as Newmar
Jennifer Lyons as Lynne
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
886.31 MB
1280*714
English 2.0
R
23.976 fps
1 hr 36 min
P/S 4 / 12
1.78 GB
1920*1072
English 5.1
R
23.976 fps
1 hr 36 min
P/S 2 / 10

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by zardoz-13 1 / 10

They Should Have Entitled it: Translylamia!

Those "National Lampoon Dorm Daze 2" dudes--co-directors David and Scott Hillenbrand--are at it again with this shallow, super-sucky supernatural spoof of bloodsucker sagas called "Transylmania" based on an abysmal script by Patrick Casey and Worm Miller. Unless you have been sniffing glue or inhaling lead-based paint, you may find it challenging to laugh at most of their ridiculous routines. Everything here qualifies as lowest common denominator humor with loads of bouncing breasts and butts to ogle in what amounts to high school skits on a big budget. Yes, you guessed it the regurgitated gags take swipes at women, repetitive puking, drugs, homosexuals, transsexuals, masturbation, bodily fluids, sheep testicles and severed heads. One really bottom of the barrel scraper gag includes a prank about Siegfried, Roy and a tiger puppet.

Basically, ten concupiscent American college students take the ultimate road trip by plane and train to spend a semester abroad at Razvan University in the heart of vampire country in Romania. The best--if best is an appropriate adjective here--gag is a homage to the Mel Brooks' classic Young Frankenstein". On the way to Castle Razvan, the kids ride in a horse-drawn cart. Every time that anybody mentions the word Razvan, the horses fart, and Razvan is mentioned more than enough times for the horses to fart more than enough times. Of course, what comedy would be a comedy were it not for mistaken identities? Our loopy protagonist Rusty (Oren Skoog) has been carrying on an Internet romance with Razvan honey Draguta Floca (Irena H. Hoffman) and sees this as the perfect excuse to make it with her in person. Later, he discovers to his chagrin that Draguta has a hump on her back that he cannot see while on-line with her. Cue the bad jokes: his pals accuse him of wanting to 'hump her.' One slightly amusing gag occurs when Rusty moons Draguta on his web-cam and then gives her a glimpse of his manhood. Simultaneously, when he regales her with his member, two people surprise him and walk into his dorm room. The anxious Rusty slams his laptop shut on his penis.

Accompanying Rusty to Romania are a couple of pot-smoking pals, Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul H. Kim,) and they endure incredible agony greasing up their rectums to stash bags of marijuana and bongs so they smuggle them past customs. Two girls, party babe Danni (Nicole Garza) and her square twin sister Lia (Natalie Garza) as well as another couple Newmar (Tony Denman) and Lynne (Jennifier Lyons), join them Rusty, Pete, and Wang. Meanwhile, an ultra-sexy vampire huntress Teodora van Sloan (Musetta Vander) and a demented Frankenstein-style doctor Dean Floca (the dwarfish David Steinberg) are two of the more prominent members of the faculty, and they are both loony tunes.

Naturally, no sooner does Rusty arrive than we learn that a vampire-on-the-loose, Count Rabu (Oren Skoog), is a dead ringer for him. Sure, if you can rip off "Young Frankenstein," then you can rip-off the Marx Brothers, so Rusty and Rabu do the famous mirror gag from "Duck Soup" before Rabu realizes that there is not only no mirror but also he would not be able to see himself if there was one! Of course, the black Spandex-clad Teodora wants to nail the Count to death with her cross-bow. The main plot has something to do with Count Rabu and three fangster femmes who are trying to resurrect his former lover whose soul has long been trapped in a music box. It seems that Teodora's ancestor was responsible for this turn of events. Poor Lynne has the misfortune to open the music box and have the spirit of the dead vampire enter her body. Another faintly amusing routine has Wang cavorting around with the severed head of a beauty queen and masquerading as the rest of her body. It seems the Dean Floca carved her up so he could transplant a smooth, shapely back on his deformed daughter. In other words, Cliff balances his head in front of his face and wears a cloak around the rest of his body. Things get complicated when his pal tries to feel her up and Cliff loses her head and it lands in a waste basket.

Truly, this tasteless, brainless comedy deserved its R-rating.

Reviewed by paul_haakonsen 6 / 10

Radu who?

Funny, but something was missing in the movie. Sure, "Transylmania" was a funny movie, but there was just something missing from the movie, something that would have made it excellent. It is a good runner-up to the movie "Lesbian Vampire Killers", though not nearly as cool.

The story of "Transylmania" is alright and have moments that will have you laughing or smiling at least. What works best for the movie is the mistaken identity thing going on throughout the movie, that was what kept the movie afloat.

The cast was alright, and most did a good job with whatever means they had been given for their characters. The traditional stupid attempts of recreating a Transylvanian accent was in place - you just gotta love it when Hollywood movies do that stuff to try to make some accent.

One of the better things about the movie was the scenery and stages, they worked very well and had lots of details to them, which was quite nice.

Sure "Transylmania" is a comedy, but there are better and funnier comedies out there. But if you like spoof movies, you should check out this movie.

Reviewed by claudio_carvalho 6 / 10

Funny Parody

The moron American student Rusty (Oren Skoog) arranges a student exchange program for his closest friend and him to study in Romania for six months and meet his Internet girlfriend Draguta (Irena A. Hoffman) to have sex with her. He travels with the potheads Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh) and Wang (Paul H. Kim); Pete's girlfriend Lia (Natalie Garza) and his twin sister Danni (Nicole Garza); the naive and romantic Newmar (Tony Denman) and his easy and stupid girlfriend Lynne (Jennifer Lyons); the nerd Brady (Joshua 'Worm' Miller) and the crook Cliff (James DeBello). His friends actually intend to party and score the Romanians.

While traveling by train to Razvan, they learn that five hundred years ago, the vampire Radu lost his beloved Stephania, whose spirit was trapped in a music box. Radu has kept Stephania's body and has been seeking the music box to bring Stephania back. Meanwhile, a Radu's minion retrieves the music box but is deadly wounded by the vampire slayer Teodora Van Sloan (Musetta Vander) and he drops the object in a gypsy's basket. Newmar buys the music box and gives it to Lynne.

When they arrive at the university, they are welcomed by the Dean Floca (David Steinberg) that is a dwarf. Meanwhile Rusty meets Draguta and finds that she has a horrible hunchback and the dean is her father. Further, Dean Floca is a psychopath that keeps a torture chamber in the dungeon of his house. When Lynne opens the music box, she is possessed by Stephania and Radu is identical to Rusty, and the brainless American students get into a messy situation.

I have already written that parody movies are always of the type "love or hate" it, and "Transylmania" is no exception. I am not intellectual, I love cinema as culture, but also as entertainment, so I like them. Further, when I see this type of spoof, I know exactly what I am going to see: scatological jokes, funny and surrealistic situations and definitely a movie that will never be indicated for an Oscar. This is the type of movie that you must shut down your brain and start laughing.

What I do not understand is some comments of persons that should never watch this type of movie. What do they expect to see when they go to the movie theaters or buy / rent a DVD or Blu-Ray entitled "Transylmania"? An art movie, with hidden messages, an epic, a classic or a film with politically correct jokes? Honestly, if I did not like this genre, I would never spend my time watching it and writing bad reviews. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Transylmania – Uma Universidade de Arrepiar" ("Transylmania – A Shivering University")

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