Had I not been forced to see this film because of my occupation (and the fact I have two young daughters), I would have avoided this particular production like Richard Simmons avoids women.
However, no such luck came my way on this night, and I was subjected to one of the single most shallow, insignificant, poorly-directed, badly-acted movies of the year.
Or in ANY year, for that matter.
"Bratz, The Movie" is supposedly based on those slutty-looking dolls with huge eyes, full lips and no noses; figures which many parents feel imbues their daughters with an overinflated infatuation with clothes, shoes and make-up. Unfortunately, this movie is live action (but still concentrates on the whole "appearance is the most important" thing).
And while the film tries to touch on friendships being key, the main message here is that only thin, good-looking people are worth anything; and the only way to make a difference in the world is to wear the latest, most expensive fashions.
As if any of this makes any difference, here's the basic plot outline: Four adolescent girls (all beautiful with perfect bodies), Yasmin (Natalie Ramos), Jade (Janel Parish), Sasha (Logan Browning) and Chloe (Skyler Shaye) enter high school. It's also needless to mention that none of these young women has even the most remote acting talents, whatsoever.
In fact, I've seen better acting in a morgue. Friends, the combined talent of the entire cast and crew of "Bratz" could be put in a thimble and there would still be room for Rosie O'Donnell's butt.
But I digress ...
Anyway, these four vapid souls enter Carrie A. Nation High School (which is more than appropriate since I wanted to take a hatchet to the projection room during this preview) and immediately clash with uptight beauty queen, Meredith (Chelsea Staub) and her group of "Heathers" wannabes.
Meredith - even though a freshman - has divided the entire academy into clicks (emo's, skaters, geeks, potheads, jocks, tree-huggers and other assorted losers). Why anyone accepts this pigeon-holing is beyond me, but wondering about this isn't worth the time it takes for a synapse to fire, so ...
And while it's easy to see the above-mentioned no-names populating this production, it's quite disheartening to watch a veteran actor such as Jon Voight, who plays Meredith's father and school principal. He not only embarrasses himself in the movie, but has put a stamp of incompetence on what was once a stellar career.
Oh, there's also a deaf kid, Dylan (Ian Nelson) who somehow has the power to hear Yasmin singing (oh, and he can spin turntables, as well).
The picture's witless conclusion consists of a huge birthday bash for Meredith (see enters on an elephant) and a loud and irritating musical number (it's amazing what passes for entertainment in today's world).
My little girls liked this film, but then again they are 3 and 7-years old. Unless you fit into this particular gender or age group - or are in a coma - you will see this entire enterprise as shallow as a saucer and empty-headed as Paris Hilton.
Truly one of the worst movie-going experiences since "Are We Done Yet?"
Action / Comedy / Family / Music
Action / Comedy / Family / Music
Four best friends start high school. Each one is unique and likes their own thing. When Meredith, the most popular girl, sees this she automatically knows they are trouble. Eventually though Cloe joins the soccer team and hangs out with them, Sasha joins the cheer leading squad and hangs out with the cheerleaders, Jade is part of the math club so she hangs out with them, and Yasmin is left all alone. After years of not talking to each other Jade and Yasmin speak a few words in the restroom but Yasmin doesn't have the courage to tell Jade she misses her. Then the four girls are reunited when they are sent to detention for causing a food fight. After the girls are reunited they find out they are not invited to a huge party given by Meredith Then Cloe finds out that her mom got a job serving food at the party. They are forced to work for Meredith Then at the party Meredith decides to expose Yasmins secret which is her dancing and singing with a face mask. Then Yasmins brother starts ...
Uploaded By: FREEMAN
November 09, 2020 at 07:19 PM